PG13- "Discworld" (some v,b)

Terry Pratchett writes funny books. It's a dry, cynical sort of funny, that takes the fantastical and twists it just that one step further. He does for fantasy what Douglass Adams does for SF, so if you've read any of the Hitchhiker's Guide series you'll know what I mean. Prachett's best known for his Discworld series, although you shouldn't miss out on Good Omens, his collaboration with Neil Gaiman. Discworld is a disc carried on the backs of four elephants standing on the turtle known as the Great A'Tuin, where magic is part of everday life and the laws of the universe are just a little bit different, even while the fundamentals of truth and greed and human venality remain the same. The series is 22 books and counting. They aren't exactly sequels, although you will find some characters appearing over and over again, and the timeline does advance as the books get newer. I read them out of order and didn't have any trouble following each book, but because things that happened in earlier books may be built upon in later ones you may want to read the earlier ones before the newest. My only other advice is to make sure you read the footnotes. They're much better than what you'd find in an academic text.

The Colour of Magic is the first Discworld novel, where we meet Rincewind - possibly the world's worst wizard - for the first time. Rincewind is at the lowest level a wizard possibly can be. In fact, there are probably many non-wizards out there who can cast more spells than he can, ever since he opened the Octavo, a grimoire that really shouldn't be read, and one of its Spells burrowed into his mind, shoving out all other magical knowledge. Despite the fact that he can't actually perform any magic (not daring to let loose the Spell), he is still a wizard because deep in his heart he knows that's what he was meant to be. However, a wizard who can't do magic isn't very impressive, and he's spent most of his life perfecting the technique of running away at the first hint of danger. Unfortunately, because he does have a talent for languages, this time he didn't manage to avoid one of the Discworld's most insidious dangers - the first tourist. In an effort to see all the wonderful barbarian sights not found on the Counterweight continent he calls home, the tourist drags Rincewind into all sorts of authentic tavern brawls and similar difficulties, his vicious many-legged and sentient Luggage in tow. Death also makes an appearance here, and becomes thoroughly disgusted with Rincewind, who always seems to scrape through situations where Death just knew he was going to die this time. Because wizards and other magic-users deserve to see Death himself when they die, you can imagine the inconvenience this causes.

The Light Fantastic is a direct sequel to the first book, where Rincewind is caught up in a reality change which threatens to destroy the whole world in the great Apocralypse within two months. In order to stop this event, all the spells in the Octavo have to be spoken, including the one stuck in Rincewind's head. Once again Rincewind is running for his life while the rest of the world seems to want him to be going in the other direction. This book also introduces the Librarian in the form in which we see him in all the later books - a distortion of magic in the Unseen University's Library causes him to transform into an orangutang. The rest of the wizards at the University want to change him back, but to do that they need to know his name. It seems Rincewind's the only one who knew him well enough, as Deputy Librarian, to remember it, which is yet another reason for people to be after him. Of course, the Librarian himself is perfectly happy with the change, since his worries have been simplified considerably and it's now much easier to climb the massive bookshelves.

On Earth some people fight for equal rights for women. On Discworld, some people fight for Equal Rites: wizards are supposed to be men, witches women, but Eskarina doesn't believe in that division. She was supposed to be the eigth son of an eigth son, and was named successor to a wizard just before she was born and he died, never knowing that the son was a daughter instead. Unfortunately, this unusual situation made her more inclined towards wizardry than witching (especially with the wizard's staff she inherited), and she decides to go to the Unseen University to apply as a wizard. Granny Weatherwax, the local witch, had her marked for her own apprentice, and follows her to the University to try to get her back. The confrontation between tradition-bound, small-village witch Weatherwax and the equally hidebound, scholarly wizards of the University is inevitable, and of course entertaining, as poor Eskarina tries to determine what it is she really wants.

Mort is the name of the boy who ended up as Death's apprentice because no one else would take him. When he gets to Death's realm, he finds out it's also because once again Death has let his observation of humanity get to him and is trying too hard to be more than a simple Anthropomorphic Personification. It seems he's adopted a daughter, Ysabell, whom he feels should fall in love with his apprentice and carry on with the trade so he can retire. Except for the minor difficulty that Ysabell and Mort seem to hate each other. But when Death gives Mort a simple set of jobs for the first time, he tries to save the Princess of Sto Lat instead of killing her and starts an alteration of reality that begins to spread and interact strangely with the fabric of what passes for reality on Discworld. And it's up to him, Ysabell, and Death's servant Albert (who can't stay too long in the real world because his life starts running out again as soon as he leaves Death's house) to figure out how to stop it while Death seems to have disappeared. Apparently, being and Anthropomorphic Personification is harder than it looks.

There are many wizards on the Discworld, of course, but there hasn't been a sourcerer for ages. Sourcery requires the eigth son of a wizard, which considering most wizards are celibate is a near impossibility. But not a complete impossibility, apparently, and this is the story of the child who is born with the power to remake the world into any image he desires. Sourcery is the magic that was used to create the world, and that's why most wizards are sensible enough not to deliver that power into the hands of one of their offspring. Poor Rincewind gets pulled into events when it becomes apparent that the new apprentice is far too powerful for his own good, or that of the wizards who he easily controls despite the fact he's not yet an adult. He was caught by the Archchancellor's hat, the badge of office for the putative leader of the wizards at the Unseen University which has, over the years, developed a mind of its own. And it didn't want that mind to come in contact with the powerful sourcery of the boy controlling the University, so it latched onto the first wizard it could. Unfortunately, this means Rincewind is caught in the wizard war fought by the University under control of the sourcerer against all other wizard enclaves on discworld.

In Wyrd Sisters Granny Weatherwax, the proper and traditional witch, makes a reappearance. She and Nanny Ogg, head of a vast family, are brought together as a coven by the rather new-age witch Magrat, despite the protests of the other two witches that this sort of thing isn't done. The true heir to the throne in the Ramtops was a child that the witches blessed with an ability to declaim like no other, and he's been touring with a troupe of actors without realizing his birthright. The troupe returns to the Ramtops and it seems like time to replace the Duke and Dutchess with the rightful heir. However, this is complicated by the dwarven playwright in the troupe, who is struck (literally) with continuous inspiration from other universes that he must sort through to determine what's usable in writing his plays, and ends up starting to write and get everyone else involved in a plot remarkably similar to the Scottish Play. As the story unfolds, the witches start to think that maybe the true heir to the throne isn't the one who should be on the throne after all, and things get complicated. This story is probably greatly enhanced if you have some familiarity with the Scottish Play and can see where the plot follows it and where it diverges.

Somehow, Pyramids seems to miss some of the humor of most Discworld novels. It has its moments (especially the description of how camels think), but for the most part is not as entertaining as the others I've read, although I'm not sure exactly what's missing. The main character was trained as an assassin in Ankh-Morpork, but because he's the heir to the throne in a country that resembles a very squashed ancient Egypt, he has to go home. Unfortunately, home isn't very thrilling when the pinnacle of a king's life is the afterlife. Except when in the process of building his father's pyramid the overeager builder manages to hit upon the most powerful energy collecting structure yet, and things start to get out of hand.

Guards! Guards! is a tribute to all the poor unacknowledged police forces in the universe. The city of Ankh-Morpork thrives on the darker side of human nature, and always has. But it wasn't until Patrician Venitari took over that its full potential was realized. A brutally efficient dictator, Venitari legalized the Assassin's Guild and the Thieves' Guild (dropping the crime rate in half) in order to make life more predictable for Ankh-Morporkians, if not happier. But it took the arrival of the dwarf-raised, literal-minded Carrot to do anything about the efficiency of the City Watch when it came to any work beyond making sure they stayed far away from criminal activity. Having read a centuries-old legal code for the city, Carrot decided to uphold those laws in the face of, well, anything, dragging his fellow Watch members (all three of them) into the thick of things. While his commanding officer, Captain Vimes, doesn't particularly appreciate this, he eventually starts feeling it's his duty to uphold the law and save the city from the dragon that has started ravaging it, and to save Venitari from the people who want to put a king in his place. You see, Vimes is utterly disgusted by the idea of the monarchy and the way it sucks people into following along with it.

Moving Pictures is, of course, a tribute to early Hollywood. Except of course that on Discworld it all starts in a place called Holy Wood, where a gate guarding the living idea and keeping it from spreading into Discworld has recently lost its last guardian. What follows is a struggle between the wizards in Ankh-Morpork and the alchemists, as the alchemists latch on to the idea of making moving pictures. After all, the alchemists are used to dealing with things that blow up on a regular basis, and movie film, even when painted by demons in a box, is certainly highly flammable. It's also the introduction of the unique brand of stardom found in the movies, where Victor and Gretchen suddenly find themselves idolized for standing around in silent films. The living idea that started it all works everyone up to the masterpiece point, the making of a grand epic called "Blown Away" (not hard to guess what that's supposed to be), even while the wizards start objecting more strongly to the force of this industry that's upsetting their magic as its popularity and glamor grows. The end result is an entertaining sendup of the Hollywood mystique, although in my opinion not one of the best Discworld books.

Fairy tales have power. Stories that are retold only become stronger, shaping the universe into the proper channels. So what happens when you get three good witches -- the kind with traditional pointy black hats (willow-reinforced with interior pockets) and flying broomsticks (one of which needs a running start to get going) -- who decide that this time the fairy tale's going to end their way? In Witches Abroad, you get quite a mess, and while it's not at all certain that there's a happily ever after waiting on the far side of it all, it's very entertaining to watch what happens along the way. Especially to the unfortunate souls who get in the way of Granny Weatherwax, a witch who gives new meaning to the word self-confidence.

Even gods have to start somewhere. And so it is that the great god Om, revered by the fanatic kingdom of Omnia, once was one of the Small Gods, eking out a living on the fringes of the desert and hoping for believers. The trouble is, the state religion in Omnia has become such an unweildy organization that it doesn't seem to be producing any true believers any more. And Om is in desperate need of at least one of those, to get himself free of the tortoise shape that he's stuck in, because only believers can hear him. But the only believer is Brutha, who's been cautioned not to listen to any tempting voices he might hear and is gifted (or cursed) with a memory that won't let him forget. Anything, ever. And Om must somehow resurrect belief in the reality of the god with just this one helper, against the force of personality and madness of someone like Vorbis, the head of the Quisition, who will stop at nothing to achieve what he thinks the god wants. Add in the underground group whose sign is "The Turtle Moves", against all dogma of the Omnian church (although the rest of Discworld already knows how the world works), and the situation becomes even more difficult. It's an interesting look at how much one man can do, for good or ill, with the power of a god to back him up.

There are a lot of superstitions in the English countryside, about leaving milk out to placate the fairies and having iron horseshoes as protection above your door, and calling the elves by careful names like the Fair Folk. On Discworld, they have these same legends, and standing stone circles made of rock that loves iron to keep the Lords and Ladies out. Because, although many people have forgotten the true nature of elves, and remember only the glamour and the beauty, elves are some of the nastiest and most vicious creatures out there. And when the crop circles start appearing and the elves' land comes closer to the kingdom of Lancre in the Ramtops, Granny Weatherwax knows it's time to start worrying. What ensues is a fight to see through what we want to be into what we are, whether for Granny Weatherwax or for Magrat the insecure witch or soon-to-be queen, whose wedding is being disrupted by the attempts of the elves to get into Lancre. Nanny Ogg is her usual crass and domineering self, the Archchancellor of the Unseen University has arrived for the wedding (with the Librarian, Ponder Stibbons, and the more than half mad Bursar in tow), the Lancre Morris Men are trying to put on a play for the wedding, and then things get really crazed.

It all started with one of Leonard of Quirm's inventions. Leonard is a genius with a tendency to absentmindedly invent the most amazing weapons of war, you see. And this time, he invented Discworld's first firearm. Then a disgruntled member of the aristocracy in Ankh-Morpork got it into his head that something should be done about Patrician Venitari, namely, replace him with the one true king. And got his hands on Leonard of Quirm's invention, which eventually involved a great many Men at Arms from the City Watch. Even though Captain Vimes was supposed to be retiring when he married the richest woman in the city, he still couldn't help but get involved in the detective work. Neither could Corporal Carrot, who somehow manages to stop riots just by expecting everyone to be nice. And the new members of the Watch, hired on an Affirmative Action policy that required a member of the dwarves who wasn't merely adopted, like Carrot, a member of the trolls, and Lance-Corporal Angua, who was hired because she was a woman. Or was she? Once again, the detective work and sheer stubborn-headedness of Captain Vimes and Carrot's admittedly simple outlook on people combine as a powerful force to oppose the one trying to lead Ankh-Morpork into a chaos greater than its normal daily quota.

Soul Music returns to the subject of Death's family when Death gets depressed about his job and tries to quit. His granddaughter Susan then finds out that the job runs in the family, even if her mother was only adopted into it. Unfortunately, her parents have been denying who her grandfather really is, and the realization comes as something of a shock. During the confusion, Buddy Holly, a bard who has travelled to Ankh-Morpork and should have died but didn't, becomes possessed by the spirit of music and introduces Discworld to Music With Rocks In. The music takes him over, and he ends up organizing a kind of Woodstock to give it more power. Of course, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler can't let anyone hold a free concert with that many people without trying to make money off it somehow, no matter what Buddy says. A wild ride through twists and turns of circumstance that aptly mirror the spirit of rock and roll (or in this case, Music With Rocks In).

In Maskerade Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg find themselves searching for a maiden to replace Magret in their trio of witches. They hit upon the idea of a young lady called Agnes, but she has decided that she's going to be an opera singer. Which means that Granny Weatherwax, who prides herself on being sensible and down-to-earth, is forced to encounter the fantastical-minded, superstitious opera folk when they go to retrieve Agnes. This story is a tribute to the craziness of operas and Opera Houses everywhere, including of course the Phantom of the Opera (only in this case he's the Ghost), and should be entertaining even if you don't know a single thing about opera, although some familiarity at least with the story of the Phantom of the Opera will probably make it much funnier.

Feet of Clay returns to Ankh-Morpork's City Watch, now a thriving concern with all sorts of members from trolls and dwarves to a werewolf and gargoyle. The werewolf, Carrot's girlfriend (if any relationship so platonic could be described that way) takes charge of breaking in the latest recruit, a dwarf forensics officer with very undwarflike standards of behavior. And the Watch has acquired a forensics officer just in time to deal with the mysterious murders of two harmless old men and an attempt to poison Patrician Venitari. Vimes once again begins tearing his hair out in an effort to solve far too many problems at once, including the unusual behavior of the city's golems, which usually aren't alive (or even undead) enough to do more than they are ordered to. Another cutting look at humanity's underbelly as exposed daily in the city of Ankh-Morpork.

Hogfather is a tribute to the power of belief, and the strange way that humans think. It starts with Death taking the place of the Hogfather (Discworld's version of Santa Claus, only he drives a sledge pulled by four pigs and is thought to either have originated with a rich fat man who tossed blood sausage through people's windows as largesse or have been a god of sacrifice, depending on who you ask). Because the Hogfather's domain is children, Death's granddaughter Susan, who's only trying to be a normal governess, despite the fact that she banishes the children's bogeymen by hitting them hard with a fireplace poker, gets caught up in the difficulties in spite of herself. And because the Unseen University is a focal point for excess magical energy, strange things happen there on a Hogswatchnight when there's extra belief let loose by a missing Hogfather. Can Death bring back the belief in the Hogfather before something dreadful happens, or will he let the role take him over and become the Hogfather? An interesting look at what happens when the things you believed in as a child turn out to have some kind of existence after all.

In Jingo, we find out what happens to already strained diplomatic relations when an island rises in the ocean between Ankh-Morpork and Klatch. The reasonable younger Prince of Klatch who had come to Ankh-Morpork to settle tensions between the countries ends up the target of assassination even before the island's presence became widely known, and Vimes is set on the case trying to sort through the too-obvious clues to find the much more elusive reality. The Patrician, once again a target, ends up going with Vimes and Leonard of Quirm to Klatch to personally sort out the whole mess before the war which idiots on both sides of the nobility really would rather see start. And somehow Carrot ends up tangled in the whole thing once again, plotting in his own way how to calm things down again before the useless real estate starts a mindless, fevered war.

Carpe Jugulum, is a book about vampires, as you may have guessed from the title. Only, these aren't your traditional stupid vampires that give the prey every opportunity to drive a stake through their hearts, or ward them off with garlic or holy water. These are modern vampires, out for self improvement and incidentally taking over the country of Lancre. Which is where they made their first mistake, because Lancre is where the witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Agnes and Magrat live. Magrat's husband the king of Lancre may have invited the vampires (or, as they prefer, vampyres) to their little girl's naming in the interests of modern politics and getting along with the neighbors in Uberwald, but the witches aren't about to let them stay. Agnes has the benefit of being of two minds about everything, which makes it hard to mesmerize her, Nanny Ogg has her incredibly large family to back her up, and Granny Weatherwax is just too strong minded and ornery to give in. Except that she doesn't appear at the naming, and the other witches might just have to do it on their own...with the help of the new priest of Om, who the witches don't approve of on the general principle that the Omnians have a history of burning witches. This book doesn't tend to be as funny as some of Pratchett's others, probably because of the rather dark subject matter, but that doesn't reduce its quality any. As with all the other Discworld novels where the witches make an appearance, it contains some very cutting insights into the nature of the human mind.

There are a lot of strange things in Australia, so it's no surprise that the Discworld version in The Last Continent is just as odd, if not more so. The reason it's called the last continent is because it's the last part of Discworld that the gods built, of course, with all the odds and ends that didn't quite fit anywhere else. And watching the incredibly incompetent wizard Rincewind and his self-propelled Luggage bumble their way across the continent discovering all of the oddities is very entertaining, especially if you can identify the Australian counterparts. There's even an explanation of how the platypus arrived (on Discworld at least), as the other wizards go looking for Rincewind to help the sick Archchancellor of the Unseen University and end up on Mono Island where everything is unique, including the local god's view of the pinnacle of evolution. It's made even better by the number of times the cowardly Rincewind, who has perfected the art of running away from the least hint of danger, manages to escape dying despite the fact that Death himself was absolutely certain that this would be the time.

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